Sunday, October 10, 2004

Noted Conspiracy Theorist Dismayed, Pensive

Duelfer Report: No Weapons of Mass Destruction

Conspiracy Theorist Scratching Heads

By Mark Connolly
Editor, Dallas Bureau

Top Conspiracy Theorist/Blogger, Man Mountain Mike, is at a loss to explain how this story was allowed to 'get out' especially right before the town hall debate.
"Since the Bush Administration covertly took control of The Press as part of the Patriot Act in reponse to the Fiction of 9/11, it is passing strange that this report ever saw the light of day.

"This indicates a major meltdown within the Bush Administration. They are coming apart at the seams. There simply is no other explanation that leaves intact the truth that Bush is altering the environment for Alien takeover. For that to have the success it has had to date, the control of all media outlets has been a pre-requisite. That control precludes any possibility whatsoever for any derogatory or denigrating news to be made available for public consumption. This news leak about no WMD (while we all knew it all along) is very difficult to explain since the aliens MUST have Bush in the White House for 4 more years due to the super nova which imminently threatens their world.

"If the aliens have somehow lost control of the Bush Administration, the consequences are quite seriously earth shaking. Their 'peaceful' takeover will of necessity become violent. You remember the Future Doc, Independence Day*? There you have it. Things are passing strange, my friends, passing strange."
While Mcubed, as he prefers to be called, slowly lost any coherency of narrative, we could not help but observe that he was, shall we say, Corpulently Naked.

His reply: "Bloggin' in pajamas is for wimps."

*A Future Doc is a representation of one of a number of available timelines, used by aliens to plan their actions in advance.


Daver said...

Looks like Mountain Man Mike needs to leave his theories alone for a while and mix in a salad or two!

Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files said...

Heard in the background of the photo:
"Mr. Moore, MIS-TER-MOORE, will you PLEASE find a 16' x 20' tarp to wrap around you and tie it off with a 100' length of rope! Your gravitational field is sucking in cheeseburgers from fast food joints six miles away already!"