Friday, September 17, 2004

Almost time to choose!

A brief and simplistic view of the campaign

Remember the scene towards the end of Rambo when Sly Stallone is stranded in the jungle? He finally reaches Murdoch on the walkie-talkie and Murdoch says “I’m coming to get you.” Remember what happened next? Rambo (Sly Stallone) says “No Murdoch, I’m coming to get you!” I remember seeing that scene in the theater and there were screams of encouragement for Rambo. You know, go get the SOB who did bad things to you.

Fast forward to the 2004 Presidential campaign, where we find Rambo (George W. Bush) running against Gilligan (John Kerry.)

President Bush has made it clear to the world that he will fight back if we are attacked. Any terrorist who tries to mess with us will be trying to outrun a Tomahawk cruise missile or dodge a daisy-cutter bomb. He will do what he can to get the bastards who try to ruin our country!

On the other hand, John Kerry reminds me of Gilligan. He is stranded, knows where he wants to go, can’t seem to figure out how, and keeps changing his methods until he finds something that works. What happen when Gilligan gets in trouble? He needs the Skipper. In Kerry’s case, the Skipper is the United Nations.

So who would you rather have? Rambo or Gilligan? As for me, I would rather see Rambo. Somehow I think that it's not likely I will see a Boeing 767 aimed at my office window with W in charge!

In my view, that is what it is all about. Safety. If we can’t live in freedom without worrying that our kids won’t come home from school, or that it is not safe to watch a Texas Rangers game (wait, bad example, watch out for flying chairs) then nothing else matters.

The economy will ebb and flow, it always does. The President doesn’t lose or create jobs, the economy does. I am not worried about the economy.

I don’t care about swift boats or National Guard memos, real or fabricated. My main concern is who is more qualified to react if and when we are hit again.

Rambo or Gilligan? 45 more days. Make your choice.


Kat said...

I'm voting for Rambo. At least he knew a faking butthole when he met one. (wasn't the sheriff of that little town supposedly in Vietnam, too? Or was he faking it like our favorite guy? Wait...maybe I'm confusing that with the real life story of Brian Dennehy. Wasn't he a vietnam faker?)

I don't know...first blood: Rambo

Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files said...

I thought already had the market cornered on simplistic summations!

The thing about Kerry is, he's one of those people you meet who have book smarts and are highly taken with their own formal learning, and yet have no common sense whatsoever. They can spout out some memorized detail about the uniforms worn in the Crimean War, and then turn around and can't figure out a bus schedule, or the arcane difficulties of changing one's car battery.

In that light, I think an apt characterization of Kerry is, rather than Gilligan (who has the prerequisite lack of common sense, but insufficient book learning), is the character of Will Smith's nerdy cousin in "the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air". He's the butt of every joke but never realizes it. He persists in his social disgraces because he doesn't understand how they're happening, or even that they're happening at all. And he takes pride in things nobody cares about. Yet people feign respect to his face because he's got money. Or at least, people close to him do.

For Bush, I think rather than Rambo, I am reminded more of the Colonel Hogan character in Hogan's Heroes. (Yes, an "e" goes in there, even in a post-Dan-Quayle era of American English.) He comes off as "harmless" to the bumbling evil villains of his world, with the laid-back, awe-shucks demeanor, the psychic hat cocked back to the back of his head, and the notion that this guy must really know his baseball trivia. But when the chips are down, he knows where to send LeBeau and Carter, across the wire.

So when faced with Cousin Carlton (okay, I Googled it!), or Colonel Hogan, I'll go with Hogan, myself. But, to quote Dennis Miller in a good rant, that's just me.