The Retail Republican

The Glob Staff Mourns The Departure Of The Retail Republican (1984-2004)

Unbeknownst to many Glob readers, the Retail Republican was an inspiration to The Glob’s editorial staff. Many staff meetings were spent discussing current events with the Retail Republican, and even more staff meetings were spent discussing additional ways the resident conservative could contribute to the publication.

Now, after almost 20 years in the retail sector, The Retail Republican has decided to move on and pursue other interests. We here at the Glob wish him the best of luck, while simultaneously hoping that it was not our actions that caused this major life change in our former colleague. Perhaps the introduction of the “drive-by” interview at our last staff meeting was not as successful as we had hoped.

In order to fill the void left by the Retail Republican’s retirement (say that 5 times fast), the staff at the Glob has already been in talks with possible replacements. Daver has been appointed to head the search team and has vowed to leave no stone un-levitated in his search for the most qualified journalist (patsy) to join the staff.

Anyone interested in filling the void left by the Retail Republican should think really hard about it and send a telepathic message to Daver personally. Daver will respond in a suitable manner.

Daver the Raver