Saturday, July 17, 2004

I Will Survivor

Survivor, the Original and Still Champion of "reality" TV shows, is again leading the way in network programming.
By Mark Connolly
Temporary Movie Critic

Mark Burnett, acknowledging that he has many imitators, the most egregious of which are foisted upon the viewing public by rival studios, knows that reality shows have just about run their course. "It is clearly obvious that most of the reality tripe being served to the viewing
public is entirely staged, and even the minutest of interactions are scripted. Actors playing 'normal' poeple is the latest twist. However, this is a one time fix, unless I underestimate the stupidity of the American people... well.. strike that. Anyway, I refuse to lower my
standards. I will continue to serve up reality menudo.

"Just about all the possible permutations have been tried. Fake reality, Real fakery, double blind who's playing and who's acting, etc. The next step is to really fake out everyone, even Jeff Probst, and of course the discerning audience."

Burnett of course refused to comment further, stating that surprise is the only thing he has going for the show. But, disgruntled insider Jeri Manthey, in her hatred of all things Survivor immediately dropped a dime on Burnett as soon as she heard The Glob was on the trail.

"Ok, here's the deal. Since I refused their offers to be on the show yet again, they have had to resort to the cheapest and least imaginative of premises. They are going to have a real celebrity that no one recognizes anymore crash the campsite."

Right about the time she was about to reveal that celebrity, she said she wanted to leave, and ran off.

The Glob doesn't need much of a lead though. We were on it like cowbirds on cows. Now, we don't want to give away anything, but, she had instant fame as a singer songwriter, then went on to play God herself in Dogma. (Really, by the way, you should see this movie.) We have a picture of her in full Survivor regalia, you can just about see her buff.

Woo hoo. As Jay would say "I'm getting half a censored."

I can hardly wait for next season!! Ψ

1 comment:

Madame Boverie said...

Mmmyyyyy. Alanis has hardly any clothing on. Should this not be censored or do I need to send her a spotted top?

Alanis, Survivor? Ha, it will be easy for her, I've heard she follows the path of the ruminantia... lots of grass.